You’re an accomplished leader. You have experience and know the right way to lead. You’ve heard about the latest leadership approaches in blogs, TED talks, and LinkedIn posts and thought, “Nope. I’m good.” You’ve become an optimized leader. 

That’s too bad.

“Every moment is an opportunity to grow yourself.” Ugh. Growth—it’s a commendable pursuit, and also an exhausting one. I’m a coach and trainer—I support people on their life journey—yet I occasionally think, “Enough! Does every action need to be an explicit exercise to grow ourselves?” Sometimes I want to do nothing—waste my time—and not feel guilty about it.

But will you read it?

Hope. The word is frequently thrown about with little thought, most often in circumstances with a tinge of powerlessness; situations that are “out of our control.” I hope it doesn’t rain. Or I hope the Detroit Red Wings make the playoffs this year. In both of those cases, we have no influence on the outcome (unless you’re a defenseman for the Red Wings, which, if that is the case, why are you reading this? Get to practice!)

“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” –Woodrow Wilson 

Change is personal. Regardless of how big the change, individuals respond to change based on unique experiences. Simply recall the wreckage of any new year’s resolution and it’s clear that change is personal. It happens one person at a time. And if you’re the leader of change, the first person you need to influence during change is often neglected: you. 

With 2023 nearly wrapped up and 2024 on the horizon, we asked some of the world’s most famous Christmas characters to share their goals for 2024. Here is what they told us made their list for the next year.

A better me. I didn’t think it would be easy, but I thought it would be easier. 

Sure, some days I make progress on this better-version-of-myself quest. As a leadership coach, if I can’t work to become that better version of myself, how can I expect my coaching clients to do the same? It’s akin to a doctor “taking their own medicine.” So what have I learned about the medicine? Supporting someone else’s leadership journey is one thing. Trying it yourself? Well, that’s something else entirely.

Long-term goals can be terrific motivators. Except when they become lost in the fog of everyday junk. Framing your actions around what is the best next thing and watching for indicators that you’re on track (the “road-side boulder”) provides clarity.

“I shouldn’t have said that.” How many times have you thought that after a reactive, unproductive comment? If you’re human, probably often. But what if a superpower existed—one not gifted from the gods (or Marvel)—that you can develop to remedy the “I shouldn’t have said that” regret? Well there is. It’s called, quite blandly, self-coaching.

It is consistently stunning. Hundreds of birds flying in unison—cruising, streaming, flowing through the air. These bird swarms are mesmerizing—even soothing—yet perplexing for their coordinated movements, all occurring ostensibly without a clear lead bird. But how? Leave it to the scientists to make sense of it.

I listened carefully as my team described the problem they faced. And, as all good leaders before me had done, I confidently offered this:

“Here is what you need to do…”

It’s taken nearly an entire life to understand how bad that advice was.

How long ago was it that you determined that there is more to do then time to do it? More demands, more stress, and less accomplishments. Multi-tasking? You know it doesn’t work, yet you continue to try to do three things at once—none of them very well. You want to better manage your time, but you can’t manage time. However, there is something you can manage: your priorities. Every moment of every day is an opportunity to make a choice. You’re reading this as a choice (whether that’s a good one depends on… well, that’s what this article is about, I guess?)

We are kind beings by nature. It just doesn’t always appear that way. In fact, it’s easier to accept the proposition that people are inherently jerks—remember your high school history class and the Hobbesian notion of human nature that sees us as solely self-serving individuals? Hobbes’ quote might sound familiar: “Life is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.” But, I think the truth is more along the lines of, “A person is kind; people are jerks.” I’m not sure if anyone has said it before, but I’ll claim it now. 

As I set my goals for 2023, a friend reminded me of a parable he once shared that I had forgotten. He emailed me the story shortly after our talk. It goes like this:

Hello, I’m Lillian Winter, your host. We welcome to our leadership podcast today a very special guest, Buddy the Elf, best known for his movie Elf and as author of There’s Room for Everyone on the Nice List: An Elf Leadership Journey. We’re pleased that you’re able to join us today, Buddy.

Buddy: It’s great to be here, Lillian. Lillian! That’s fun to say. Lillian.

So you’re a team leader. Maybe it’s your first time; maybe you’re a veteran and a senior leader. While the context, industry, and team size may vary, there are many ways a leader can fail on their journey to build strong teams. Here are a few to note. And while there is no magic wand, awareness and intentional action can avoid, manage, or mitigate them all.

On July 15, 2022, Bob Salem became the fourth person to push a peanut up Pikes Peak with his nose. Let that marinate for a bit. A peanut up a mountain. I’m not sure which part of the story is more surprising: that someone decided that this goal was worth the focus and practice (I’m guessing that pushing a peanut with your nose requires some forethought and practice), or that three other people did the same thing?

Here’s something to occupy your thoughts on your next neighborhood walk: count fire hydrants. My bet is you have little sense of how numerous those bright red, cast iron buggers are. They are everywhere and yet often blend into the background.

Same with behavior. It’s always there but not always noticed.

Marriage—It’s a big step. It’s a life-altering event that brings many new experiences. Yet, as with most of life, so it goes. Life is a series of transitions, some celebrated and obvious: child to adolescence; high school to college; old job to new job; friend to spouse. Some less celebrated and obvious: today to tomorrow. Yet each of these transitions has one element in common: with each we bring our previous self to something new.

Yes, there are thousands of articles offering the best, latest, or sure-fire researched-based approaches to developing, growing, and improving yourself. And because you’re reading this, you’ve probably read a lot of them. While this article won’t be so bold as to propose a sure-fire approach to growth, one thing is certain: doing nothing leads to nothing. So this valiant attempt is less focused on a comprehensive approach to self-development and mostly focused on a single ingredient: choosing to do; choosing to do “not nothing.”