Harness this Leadership Superpower: Self-Coaching
“I shouldn’t have said that.” How many times have you thought that after a reactive, unproductive comment? If you’re human, probably often. But what if a superpower existed—one not gifted from the gods (or Marvel)—that you can develop to remedy the “I shouldn’t have said that” regret? Well there is. It’s called, quite blandly, self-coaching. While this superpower is less cinematic than shooting webs from your wrists, it has the (super) power to alter the progress of your career and your ability to lead. And where does acquiring this superpower begin? Awareness. Easy, right? Not so much.
The challenge with awareness is that it takes many forms (its superpower is shapeshifting). Consider some of your recent interactions. You might have been aware in the moment (introspective awareness), after the moment (retrospective awareness), or even before the moment (prospective awareness). While each awareness moment is different in time, they can be approached with the self-coaching superpower. Use some of these questions to break the “I shouldn’t have said/done that” habit.
Retrospective self-coaching (reflecting on the past moments)
What worked well in that situation?
What were the triggers for my unproductive responses?
What can I learn from my automatic responses during that interaction?
What were possible more productive behaviors or words?
Prospective self-coaching (preparing for the next moments)
What is important for me to accomplish today, this week?
What is the goal of this upcoming interaction?
What are my triggers for unproductive responses?
What are possible productive behaviors or words?
Introspective self-coaching (awareness in the moment)
How do I want to show up in this moment?
What is my intent right now?
What am I missing from the other person’s perspective?
What can I ask to show curiosity in the interaction?
How can you hone this self-coaching superpower? Try this: At the end of each day take 10 minutes to ask yourself, “What didn't work today?” and “What was the stimulus or trigger for my words and actions?” (both productive and non-productive responses). With time you’ll begin to see patterns and begin to leverage the self-coaching superpower. And maybe, just maybe, someday Marvel will recognize this most powerful superpower. The power to coach yourself (working name: “Coachkinesis ™” ). We just need to find our starring hero. Know anyone?
Notes:
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