The Worst Leadership Advice I Ever Received (and Gave)
I listened carefully as my team described the problem they faced. And, as all good leaders before me had done, I confidently offered this:
“Here is what you need to do…”
It’s taken nearly an entire life to understand how bad that advice was.
Telling your team what to do seems like leadership. And since that is the advice I had been given, that is what I did. Yet this is precisely where many leaders (new and seasoned) fail. This belief that as a leader I must “tell it,” “save it,” or “control it,” in order to be a successful leader. Michael Bungay Stanier in his book, The Advice Trap, refers to these tendencies as the Advice Monster. We believe that we must add value with our ideas to show that we deserve to lead, can control the situation, or must rescue our team from certain disaster. Yet by doing that we are trading control for empowerment and engagement (and long-term success).
Ok, I sense you’re thinking, “What are you talking about? Leaders are paid to make decisions; solve problems.” Yes, some situations require command—the decision is needed now, i.e., “I know what is right, so please do [blank].” But those are not most decisions. Furthermore, solutions should be less about a belief of what is “right” and more about what is “best.” This is where effective leaders create the environment where the best answers are identified. Yes, leaders should share their perspective and wisdom. But it should be done selectively, rather than reactively. But there are traps and temptations that keep us mired in an advice-focused approach. Here’s a few of them:
I don’t have time to have a dialogue around every decision.
This sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? But why don’t you have time? What is causing you to be constantly under pressure to make decisions without any consideration? Yes, some decisions require quick and independent action. Just not most of them. Time (or lack of it) is an easy excuse to validate the just “tell them what to do” response. But a little forethought and prioritization can set up better conversations.
I’m right a lot.
Maybe you have a track record of making terrific decisions. You don’t need input because you’re usually right. But what is right? Is it “right” because it was done the way you wanted and produced the outcome you wanted? What are you missing by being “right?” When is it better to sacrifice a short-term “right” for a long-term “best?”
Increased dialogue doesn’t lead to better decisions.
Yes, a less top-down, advice-driven process can still yield bad outcomes. But dialogue creates a strong foundation for deliberation by examining and discussing options and trade-offs to determine the best action. Establishing an approach that is less advice-focused and more conversation-oriented creates an environment to examine what didn’t work and why—one that is focused more on what caused the failure rather than who is to blame for it.
Effective leadership is not rooted in telling someone what to do. It is demonstrated by presenting a future others want to be part of (I learned that a long time ago from my coach. Thanks, Denise). It is about getting the best out of your team; it is about moving them closer to a future that might not seem possible today. The best way to get there? Listen more, tell less. Seems like good advice. But maybe you should ask your team about it.
Notes:
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